Today is Mother’s Day in the United States. As my social media feeds become clogged with individuals sharing about their awesome moms, my heart actually hurts, because I know today, for so many people (including myself), is a day of deep hurt. Hurt that quickly can turn into grief, anger, and loneliness. So, I want all of you who are hurting today to know: I SEE YOU. Your pain is valid. And, I sincerely hope that in the midst of your pain and grief, you feel loved, comforted, and experience the peace that surpasses all understanding.
First, to the infertile women desiring to be mamas: I’m so, so sorry. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to see all of the handprint paintings today as the reality sinks in that, once again, you won’t be getting that painting. Your grief is deep and tough. And I really have no other comfort to offer than to say: I see you, I hear you, and you’re important.
To all the mamas who have suffered miscarriage(s): I am so sorry. Even though you may have never held your baby in your arms (or maybe you did), your child was real. It was loved, it was wanted, and it had a soul. Your pain is valid, and I apologize on behalf of anyone who may have told you that you can “just have more” or treated your situation differently than the loss of a child born alive. I am so deeply sorry.
To all the mamas who created adoption plans for their babies: I hope the grief you feel today is at times quieted by the deep peace and joy, you feel knowing how much you love your child, and how much your child is loved. You made the most difficult and sacrificial choice any parent could make, and I hope today you feel loved and supported.
To all the mamas who have lost a child, at whatever age: I am so sorry. I’m sure today, more than just about any other day in the year, you’re thinking about what your child would have looked like or what y’all would have done. Your grief is real and raw and valid and I hope you have the resources to celebrate the life of your child and grieve well.
To all the children that can’t see their mamas, for whatever reason: I am so sorry. I know, I can empathize, how difficult today is to see photos and stories of your friends with their mamas, to see them talk about their mamas, and to realize you don’t have that, and probably will never have that. I hope you can find the peace that comes with forgiveness, and although this loss will be a lifelong grieving process, I hope you find hope in breaking the abusive cycles you were subjected to. It was not your fault.
To all of the adults considering adoption: thank you, thank you, thank you! All children deserve to be loved, wanted, and missed. Whether you’re currently fostering or going through the adoption process, I want to stand up and applaud you for making the selfless decision to show another the love of Christ, and trusting God to sustain you as your heart is broken, and repaired and overflows with joy time and again.
To all the superhero women (and men!) that have taken on mothering roles to support these individuals: thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Your love and sacrifices have forever changed the life of an individual. I know loving grieving individuals is difficult, it’s painful, and downright tiresome. But it is so, so worth it. Loving someone deeply is never a mistake.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-8